I need a place where I can invite friends over to share time together and break bread. I am tired of being uprooted or where from day to day I do not know what that will bring when things will change on other people's whims or control because of their needs. I need to feel secure and I do not feel secure in this situation.
I cannot help it because of my dog, she is all I have and it is not easy for her either. If I did not have her what else would I have as they say a dog is mans best friend. So it would be like give up your best friend. I know she is just a dog. But she is my dog that I am trying to give her what she needs too a place where she can be a dog.
James
WELL BRO, WE JUST PUT A NEW SOUND SYSTEM IN AND PUT UP THE PROJECTOR AND SCREEN FOR POWER POINT IN THE NEW SANCTUARY TODAY. ITS AWESOME.
THE CHURCH WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY. WHEN WE HUNG THE CROSS THE ANNOINTING WAS SO POWERFUL IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES.
YOU HAVE TO STOP BY AND SEE IT SOME TIME.
The next situation was where Carolyn did not want to go to his church anymore and was tired of being forced to go. Where I told her that I was going to go and see the new church but that I would be leaving right after the offering. It was hard to keep Feisty in the van. I had her in and out and to make sure I parked in the shade.
I mentioned the day before I was not going to go, then changed my mind after spending time at Ken’s the night before where Ken and I were working on some projects that he wanted me to help him to do.
Rick,
I cannot believe this and all that is going on. From my understanding everyone asked Carolyn if she wanted a ride to the new church and she said she did not want to go.
Diana asked Carolyn if she wanted to go, Carolyn said, “No!” Then Bonnie asked Carolyn if she wanted to go and Carolyn said, “No!” I suggested that Joe stop by at Ken’s and ask if Carolyn wanted a ride with Joe to the new church. And Carolyn said, “No!” to Joe. Then, I read your email that you sent me describing how awesome it was at the new church?
I had no plans on going, this because of my gas situation and my dog. But decided to go after I got your email (now I wish I would not have gone at all and stayed home instead as I had originally had planned because of my dog and gas situation). I decided to go instead but would leave after the offering because it gets too hot for my dog in the van and that is unfair to her and until I find a place that has a fenced yard.
I went to Ken’s after you guys saw me on your way to the new church and I mentioned I was going to see if Carolyn wanted to go with me to the service. I went to Ken’s and asked if she wanted to ride with me but that I was coming back after the offering. Because I did not want to leave my dog in the van any longer than I had too because of the heat outside. Carolyn decided on her own that she would go with me and come back when I did as she did not want to have anyone give her a ride home, other than me and she did not want anyone to talk her into staying either.
She did not want to stay, that was her choice. No one forced her to go or to stay. She chose and made that decision on her own and she did not want anyone to give her a ride back or talk her into it. That was her choice. Ken and I had an understanding at the time before I left that I was not to leave her and that when I came back Carolyn was to come back when I left. And Ken knew I was leaving after the offering and I had mentioned I was leaving after the offering to several people after I arrived at the new church. And I asked Joe if he wanted to ride with us too but I mentioned the same thing that I was leaving after the offering. I gave Joe a ride too because it was easier than giving him directions to the new church. And he had a choice he could stay or leave when I did. If someone wanted to give him a ride back and Joe wanted to stay that was up to him.
Now if I would have been the one on the clock or time card with IHSS and the person responsible for the recipient as the provider had requested that the person who is responsible for the client as their full-time caregiver and POA requested that the client not be left with anyone or allowed to stay. I would have lost my job when I returned without the client. Even though I was doing it as a favor I was still was responsible for Carolyn wishes and her full time care provider, which is Ken to my knowledge. Ken requested that I bring her back with me when I left. And all I said was Ken requested that she leave when I do. That was Carolyn’s and Ken wishes, not mine. I was only doing as Ken had asked me to do. I was responsible for Carolyn and Ken’s request. It was not my choice but their choice.
Now Ken’s all mad at me for whatever was said to him that I might have said during the computer episode about him. Once again, second hand gossip that has caused nothing but unnecessary conflict. We were right in the middle of solving some of Ken’s problems that he and I were working on. The things he has been unable to do because of taking care of Carolyn and Clifton twenty-four hours a day seven days a week with the hours from IHSS that help Clifton with her needs and Carolyn with her needs and Ken with his needs with the hours from IHSS.
I wish I would have just stayed home and Carolyn would have stayed home and Joe after I gave him directions to the new church, he could have driven himself. But “no” instead I offered a ride to Carolyn and Joe to save Joe gas for his car and give Carolyn a chance to do something she did not want to do in the first place. I should have just left well enough alone.
I am already as you are aware looking for a place to live with for my dog and me. I wanted to leave on good terms and be able to continue helping with the new church, but it seems it is not going to work out that way. I have no hard feelings but I can no longer be involved with RFC and I would like to leave on those terms. And as you noticed I was at the back at the church because I needed to be in place that would not bother or disturb anyone if I went in and out to check on my dog, but I guess that was a problem too and not acceptable either.
I have no other choice but to move on with my life as of the first of May as originally decided upon. Rather I find a place or not I am leaving on the first of May. Even if I have to put all my stuff back in storage, I will not be here after the first of May. And Ken no longer wants me to visit him or come over to his house any more due to this situation by whatever it is was that was said to him about whatever it was I supposedly had said. And it got him upset and he came to my house and told me not to come back to his house anymore because of what someone else had said I said and that has got him highly upset.
I have had enough of “One to Life” the soap opera and I am moving on to where ever the Lord Leads me. I will be moved out by the first of May if that will suffice I would move out sooner but I do not have the money until the first of May.
I was going to do my best to try and get it straighten out between Ken and I. But whoever went out of their way to do this, is the one that needs to answer to God, not me. Ken when he is ready can send me an email when and if he would like to get in touch with me. That was Ken’s and my last understanding. But I feel it is not for me to fix this mess but rather the person who went out of their way to destroy it, due to their vengeance and hatred towards me, and the more I think about it. I have an idea who that person was, but I am not going to say. But I think you know exactly who it might have been. Does your bodyguard ring any bells, but that is just an educated guess I could be wrong? But it does not matter anymore it is as they say the straw that broke the camels back. I give up and I quit.
I wish you all the best with RFC and may God bless you always.
My only request is that you give me until May first to leave and find other accommodations, as I no longer want to be here.
I wash my hands of everything, I have had enough turmoil to last a lifetime.
Blessings,
James
THE OPERATIVE WORD HERE WAS, SOME TIME,
YOU HAD TOLD ME A COUPLE A DAYS AGO THAT YOU NO LONGER WANTED TO BE AT OUR CHURCH BECAUSE OF HOW LONG OUR SERVICES ARE, ALSO OF COURSE YOUR GAS AND DOG. I DONT KNOW WHAT ALL OF THIS IS ABOUT WITH YOU JAMES BUT I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAD TO MOVE OUT BEFORE MAY 1ST. ITS UP TO YOU BRO, BUT IF YOURE NOT HAPPY WITH THE CHURCH AND THE PEOPLE IN THE PARK, ITS BEST YOU DO MOVE WHEN YOU ARE ABLE.
RICK
Everyday I sat there and wondered if today is the day for me to move. It is nerve racking. I have a room (roof over my head) all the while as each day passes the place is being remodeled. People are now coming through to look at this place to see if they are interested in buying it. I have no rights and there is not much I can say as I am in no position to say a word. I have to keep my mouth shut and not complain. What good would it do if I did say anything? It would only make a bad situation even worse than it already has been.
Before the church moved I could put Feisty in the van and drive to the Recreation Room where the church was at the time and have to go in and out to check on her during the long winded sermons and have Rick get irate by any interruption to his sermons or one of his rant and rave bitch sessions about people not helping with the church by donations or people getting up to get a cup coffee or water and God forbid to have to go to the restroom. Rick did not want anyone to miss what he had to say or what he feels God wants him to preach about to people. All the while telling everyone that it is their church and they are responsible for keeping it clean and paying their tithes but yet only Rick can make the decisions on what is to be done and when and where because no one else has a right to because is the one that pays all the bills by bringing in the most to cover the cost as if no one else’s contributions mean anything after all they do not put as much into it as Rick does. So instead of it being everyones church, it amounts to the fact in reality that it really belongs to Rick, not anyone else.
Since I first became involved and have been associated with the Refiners Fire Church I have seen three assistant pastors having a falling out and leave in the last year since May of 2007. Pastor Mike, Pastor Richard, Pastor Tavarez and all their families. The only one that has come and gone is Pastor Nelson from Nairobi Kenya East Africa who I first met in May of 2007 and he left to go home to Nairobi Kenya East Africa to be with his family. Pastor Nelson returned home in January of 2008 due to the political war in his country. When I left Redding at the end of June to go to Redd Bluff, Pastor Nelson was back, again living at Rick’s house.
When I finally made the decision to go to Redd Bluff and move on out of the situation I was living I stopped by to say my good-bys to Pastor Tavarez and his family who while I was living there brought me food knowing I did not have much money as I was eating chili beans to save money to pay all the bills so I was not eating very well. I had been eating chili beans almost everyday since January 2008, when I first moved into the Mobile home Park. Pastor Tavarez had bought one of the Mobile homes being remodeled but he beat Rick to the punch and bought it first before Rick did and that caused a riff between Rick and Pastor Tavarez for a long time, as Pastor Tavarez came to Redding with his missionary family to start a Hispanic Church, that had nothing to do with Refiners Fire Church, except to use the facility when Rick wasn’t using it for his church, but with came with conditions, such as working for Rick to work on the other Mobile homes to help off set the space rent for the Mobil Home the Pastor Tavarez was living in. They were expected to help cut the grass in the park for little or no pay because of their legal immigration status in the USA and to help off set the use of the church for their services.
Right now I still do not know what happened after I left to head to Redd Bluff when Pastor Tavarez mentioned to me that he was giving Rick the keys to the new church that Rick rented in late April, to serve as the new Refiners Fire Church, that Pastor Tavarez was still suppose to share with Rick’s permission. Only problem Rick never seemed to give them enough time to do that, as Rick always wanted them to attend his services and make it hard for Pastor Tavarez to hold his afternoon services, due to Rick’s long winded sermons where Pastor Tavarez eldest daughter also played in the house band for Rick’s services, as Rick has to always be on top, and makes sure to let it be known that he is the senior pastor at what ever cost if my be to others.
Rick even offered for me to stay another month as long as I paid $400.00 again for another months rent to cover the space rent and utilities of which I had to write the check as a donation to the church, which in reality is nothing further from the truth. Joe had moved out at the end of May 2008 to Carolyn’s house in the mobile home park at Ken’s. Where Joe could be Carolyn full time caregiver as she is entitle to IHSS due to her mental condition. Carolyn is also a member of the Refiners Fire Church and that is a story for another time about the situation of when my computer crashed and Ken repaired it for me.
I no longer wanted to pay that kind of rent anymore for just a room while the mobile home was being remolded around me with the carpet no longer on the floor and paneling stacked against a wall in the hall way and at any moment not knowing when Rick was going to work on the remodeling, without much notice as to his schedule as to when he would work on it. In the mean time, still working on Joe’s old Mobile that the owner had bought and Rick was working on it all at the same time. Rick had too many irons in fire so to speak and I was expected to be thankful for something I was paying for after all, I was not living there for FREE. Rick gave the impression to others that I should be thankful for something that without Joe and I, Rick would not had the space rent and utilities covered plus the fact that the park rules do not allow renters. It makes you wonder about a so-called pastor willing to break the rules for his own selfish benefit. Not much of a pastor if you ask me? Or others who know Rick for his ways and reputation he has by his own doing in Redding, California.
Rick said if things did not work out I could always come back and that he was not kicking me out of the Mobile home after he might not get back to working on Space #55 for another two weeks, as he needed to finish Space #60 for his boss. Living in a place that I had no rights as a tenant where normally you would but because of the fact it was against park rules for people to rent their Mobiles, but it was OK for the pastor of Refiner’s Fire Church to braak the rules, if it was for a benefit to Rick and his church.
Allen came by to give me the great news on Saturday morning that he and Lanie found Moms’ grave marker and that they took pictures of it so I could see it. I let Allen know that I had rented this mobile home because the people had moved out the night before and I moved in. Allen left to go and bring back the pictures so I could see them. They were staying at Lanie’s cousin Rick’s house down the street on Fifth street and I was living on “F” Street. I used to live on “B” street in Tulelake and moved to “A” street in Alturas and now I live on “F” street. But the address where I live is actually listed as Modoc Ave., Tulelake addresses are confusing due to the fact that the mobile home is part of the Mobile Home Park, but yet is not in the park. Go figure?
I waited for a while for Allen to come back and running through my mind was the thought that I mentioned to Allen that I really did not want that other travel trailer that I was going to try and work out a deal to buy for $750.00 and after thinking about it. I thought he might think I meant Lanie’s mobile home. So I decided to take Feisty for a walk to see what happened to Allen and I saw him in the yard at Rick’s and ask what happened and he told me that Lanie was all upset because I moved into the old mobile home that was run down and I wouldn’t live in hers and that I had called some of her friends white trash a few days before for the condition they left her mobile home in and that she couldn’t understand how now I could move into the mobile home that I live in now, when I complained about the condition her mobile home was in presently.
Well the difference is very simple. This mobile home I live in now has plumbing working and electricity is on with a few minor problems. Where with Lanie’s mobile home there are major problems that need to be taken care of before anyone can even think about living in it, less well renting it. Lanie has her stuff still stored there in some of the rooms and they cannot be used until she moves it somewhere else. Yet, Lanie wants to rent it out in the condition it is in, along with her stuff still being stored inside as well as stuff that is in a shed and all the other junk in the yard that has yet to be hauled away to the dump. The yard outside is in as bad a shape as the inside that is in ill repair. Lanie was mad and hurt at the same time because I did not move into her mobile home when we first arrived here to make the repairs and yet the first night I saw the mobile home I am living in now I moved in right away. Why? What was the difference? A-lot. A few minor repairs compared to major one’s that was the difference.
On Saturday I could only get enough cash out of the ATM to pay part of the rent to Rick Shepard the owner for the space rent and the balance of the rent to Arnold who owns the mobile home I live in now. Arnold needed to go to Thunderbird Market and Cash and Carry to pick up meat for his pigskins that he makes and sells. Since I had to go to Klamath Falls anyway I decided rather than wait to see the pictures of Mom’s grave marker I would stop by Eternal Hills on my way to Klamath Falls and see Mom’s marker for myself in person. After all I needed to buy more groceries anyway because on Saturday when I went to get cash for Lanie I stopped at the dollar store to pick up a few things at the time, not knowing then where I was going to end up or where I was going to live. In my van in Tulelake or Alturas as there were not many options left at the time.
Arnold and I stopped by and I found Mom’s maker and saw it for the first time where Lanie had placed some flowers for my Mom from the flowers she had bought to place on her dad’s grave. Lanie was not only the first one to see my Mom’s grave site; she was the first to put flowers on it. To me it was my Mom’s way of letting Lanie know how much my Mom loved Lanie to let Lanie find it before her own son, who took care of her for 7 years 24/7 before she passed away. I am the second one to see it, not the first so Lanie should be honored that she saw it before I did. My Mom was a sweetheart and many people in Tulelake loved her and some day I am still going to give her a funeral and memorial service. Maybe next year I can do that now that I know where she is laying to rest.
I at least now know where she is, as I had no idea what happened to her ashes as I was $600.00 short of taking care of her final burial expenses and I never had a service for her due to all the family BS that happened at the time, and where they did not help me with anything because I would not have her buried in Redding, California for their convenience, not Mom’s last wishes.
There are signs that I am in the right place. The inside living room area is painted pink. Mom's favorite color and I found a little statue with ducks, Mom's favorite thing too. She collected things with ducks on them. And I found a few angel magnets and stickers on the sliding glass door that to me are signs Mom is watching over me and that I am now finally on the right track.
Late Saturday night Arnold stopped by and mentioned to me he had a big problem and if I might be able to help him with it. The driver he set and arranged to drive and pick up his wife and granddaughter at the bus station in Reno had backed out of the deal and he wanted to know if I could help him out by driving to Reno in the early morning at 2 a.m. to pick them up. We needed to be there by 6:30 a.m. or 7 a.m. when the greyhound bus would be arriving. I agreed to help him but I would drive my van if he paid for the gas. As luck would have it I just unloaded my van and there was room now to carry passengers in it. We left at little after 2 a.m. Sunday morning and arrived in Reno just about 6:30 a.m. right on time and went to the greyhound bus station after getting gas in Reno for $3.85 a gallon which cost $50.00 to fill up my van as I had almost a full tank when we left Tulelake. We got directions from the gas station for the greyhound bus station and picked up his wife and granddaughter that had been waiting since 4:30 a.m. because the bus had arrived early. We headed back on the 9 and half hour 475 mile round trip and arrived back in Tulelake around 11:30 a.m. that morning.
It is nice to finally have a home again. Now I need to decide what I am going to bring down here from Alturas. On Friday I am going to Alturas to combine the two storages down to one and bring some of the stuff here that I can use and at the same time save on the cost of two storage units that I have been paying storage payments on for two storages for a year and half now since mom passed away.
In the meantime I wrote a letter of Interest to Rick Shepard the owner of the Mobile Home Park to see if there may be some things that I can help around here with that Arnold the on site manager cannot do, that I may be able too. To assist in areas Arnold has no experience or knowledge that could be beneficial to both Arnold and Rick. Opportunities knocking at the door with my new home, and new life here in Tulelake for the first time in over a year and a half of trying to get back on my feet with a roof over my head, once again after the passing away of my Mom.
Praise the Lord!
Greed
Greed in psychology is an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.
Greed From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism (selflessness). The implications of selfishness have inspired divergent views within religious, philosophical, psychological, economic and evolutionary contexts.
Selfishness From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy typically comes from a desire to mask actual motives or feelings, or from a person's inability to conform to standards they espouse.
Hypocrisy From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
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