That afternoon on February 22, 2007 in Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California at 2:00 p.m. I received a code blue as soon as I answered the phone in my room. I had just laid my head down for the first time in 40 hours in the Hospice room for out of the area patients for their family.
I left the room and headed up towards the hospital as I prayed along the way. I just knew and had a feeling at the time that she was gone. I did not rush because I knew her time had come. I was the only one that could make the call on them stopping CPR before they cracked her ribs. That is what I heard someone yelling behind me as I entered ICU. I yelled out, “Where is my sister, where is my sister?” I heard someone behind me once again say, “She is in the room with your mother”. When I arrived in her room the only person I saw standing there was my niece Jamie Pokorny and I then yelled out, “Stop! Stop!” They stopped administering CPR and she was gone. Then my sister arrived and said, “Why didn’t you wait for me? I told her, “I couldn’t someone said they were going to break her ribs if they kept it up. They told me you were here but it was Jamie who was standing here, not you at the time when I came in the room. I asked where you were and they said you were in the room. Then a few moments passed and my sister said to me, while holding my Moms’ hand. “We need to go out and tell the grand children about their grandmother passing away”. I said, “Not me. They hate my guts, sorry. You will have to do that by yourself.” Then my sister got upset once again that I did not wait for her to make the call to have them stop CPR.
The next thing I had to do was to stop at the nurse’s station and make the arrangement to move Mom out of the hospital and to the local mortuary. They made the call and made the arrangements for me with Allen & Dahl Funeral Chapel : Redding, California (CA) to come pick her up and I would go there in the morning to complete the rest of the arrangements.
As I was leaving and my sister had gone out to break the bad news to her grandchildren I went to give her a hug and she turned away from me. And yelled once again in front of her grand children about me not waiting for her. When bless her soul my niece Jamie spoke up once again and tried to explain to her mother what happened. I then left and just walked down the hallway all alone the same way I came into this world, alone.
Where the last moment I remember with her with the breathing tube down her throat where I told her the last time I saw her alive how much I loved her and I did not think she was going to die; otherwise I would have seen to it she was given last rights before a person passes onto the next. I knew my Mom loved the Lord without a doubt, so there was no need to do it. Little did I know at the time that it was my last kiss to her and my final one while she was alive? How was I to know that in reality it was my final kiss good-by to my Mother and final moment with her while she was still alive?
These were the moments in time, as I now look back, that I did not know if it was the flu that was catching up with her, or if she was dying and these would be the last moments she and I would spend together, as I was trying to nurse her back to better health again. The moments that I will cherish, as they were the last moments where Mom and I were letting each other know, how much we loved each other and what she meant to me, and what I meant to her. The moments that my family will never have, that they lost because they did not want to make the effort to make the three-hour drive to visit her, while she was alive, with the exception of one niece (my Mom's favorite granddaughter Amber Prevost).
The afternoon that she passed away they mourned the loss with their individual families, I spent it alone but thank God I had Joel Dooley and his girlfriend and a senior friend to my Mom and I, Faith Rogers stopped by the Hospice room I had at Mercy Medical Center because I had no where else to stay and I did not want to burden any of my friends in Redding, California. Good thing I left my dog Feisty at home or I would had to have her too with me and that would have been even worse to deal with the passing of my Mom and take care of dog too.
After she passed away they wanted her buried in Redding for their convenience. Now they will have to make the three-hour drive to put flowers on her grave in Klamath Falls, Oregon at Eternal Hills Memorial Gardens.
Above is something they will never have and that is their name on her marker or death certificate but I will, forever!
Dealing with a Death
Acceptance: Acceptance of losing a loved one is a tough task. For opening up your heart to express what you feel about the loss it is necessary that you first accept and digest the fact that he or she is no more. It is natural for the relatives or people extremely close to go into denial. But you cannot live in an illusive world and life is unfair as it is. You have to come to terms with the blaring truth. But that does not mean you rush into forcing yourself to take it in. It will take time to sink in a few days, months. It has to, eventually, because life has to go on.
Venting Out: Speak out as much as you want about that person and how you are feeling about his or her death. This will further help you get a grip on the truth. Cry, let out your emotions if you want to or feel like. Crying acts like a pressure system for your heart. The load of emotions sometimes gets a bit too much. Crying out gives you relief in such a situation. This is not to say that you cry so much so as to make your eyes puffy. The point is to express and vent your bottled feelings to family members and friends when dealing with grief after death.
Give it Some Time: Coping with grief over the loss of a loved one is not an overnight solution. Obviously it will take time for you to get out of the emotional setback. Never mind, let the things take their natural course. Time is the best healer, they say. Let some time go by. Be patient and make up your mind that it is a long process and it will take time.
Duty Towards Yourself: You have to take care of yourself at least for the sake of others who care for you. Starving yourself or not eating or not taking proper rest is unfortunately not going to help get that individual back ( I know this is a bit harsh and easier said than done, but still you have to try). Therefore, taking proper rest, eating and doing everything as before will perhaps make things easier for you. This will be for your own good ultimately.
Distraction Works: I know when you are dealing with death of a loved one, everything seems to have come to naught. Even then, brace yourself and do things which will divert your mind from the thoughts of the grievous death. This will prove effective at least for some time. Forgetting totally about that person will be almost next to impossible.
Get in Touch with Others with Similar Experience: Try and reach out to others with similar experience and exchange ideas and share the grief. If you are feeling 'WHY ME', then this might be a good option to ponder over. You will know that there are people like you, pained and aggrieved and shocked and traumatized. Be open to putting across your emotions and listening to what they have to say and vice versa. This way you would have helped the others in dealing with a death.
How to Deal with Grief
The pain of losing of a loved one can shatter one's life. The emotional turmoil that one goes through at this stage can rob one of sanity. It is important to know how to deal with grief, so that one can prevent his/her life from falling apart...
Of the wide spectrum of human emotions, grief is probably the most profound one. It's very difficult to come to term with the loss or death of a loved one, and it may take days and even years to come out of the shock.
Politics
Politics is a process by which groups of people make decisions. The term is generally applied to behaviour within civil governments, but politics has been observed in all human group interactions, including corporate, academic, and religious institutions. It consists of "social relations involving authority or power" and refers to the regulation of a political unit, and to the methods and tactics used to formulate and apply policy. "Politics" ultimately comes from the Greek word "polis" meaning state or city. "Politikos" describes anything concerning the state or city affairs. In Latin, this was "politicus" and in French "politique". Thus it became "politics" in Middle English( see the Concise Oxford Dictionary).
There is no academic consensus on the exact definition of "Politics" and what counts as political and what does not. Max Weber defined politics as the struggle for power.
Left-right politics
Recently in history, political analysts and politicians divide politics into left wing and right wing politics, often also using the idea of center politics as a middle path of policy between the right and left. This classification is comparatively recent (it was not used by Aristotle or Hobbes, for instance), and dates from the French Revolution era, when those members of the National Assembly who supported the republic, the common people and a secular society sat on the left and supporters of the monarchy, aristocratic privilege and the Church sat on the right. The meanings behind the labels have become more complicated over the years.
The meaning of left-wing and right-wing varies considerably between different countries and at different times, but generally speaking, it can be said that the right wing often values tradition and social hierarchy or private property while the left wing often values reform and egalitarianism.
Politics From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at wikipedia.org
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