Here I sit trying to think of something good to write. Yet, people are still reading things I wrote a long time ago. If people only knew the feelings I am feeling inside right now. As I struggle each day just to make it to another day. In a place I wanted to come to but once I got here things are not what I hoped they would be.
Survival is the only thing I can think of day in and day out as the days pass by. How did I get here and why did I ever come? Hoping someone will read what I have written and help me to get to a better place in my life. Which, it seems is something we all strive for in our lives. How do I get back to where I was before when I could write things and people would read along and enjoy what it is I have written. Why am I here? Did God really send me as I wait on Him to show me the way.
This time reminds me of another time in my life where I felt hopeless and wanted to give up. That is not what I want to do, but I just can't figure out how I am going to make it here. Life is not easy here for a person with very little means. Where everyone around me seems to be making it OK.
I don't get out much, I just stay in my room most of the day and pass the time away. Where I look forward to night fall so I can sleep in the darkness until the light comes and I have to do it all over again during the day. This is not paradise for me and I am sure there will be lots of people jumping up for joy. Jumping up for joy that I am not having as great a time and this I am sure gives them pleasure to no end.
The only thing I can figure out is there are people who still come here and read things I have written a long time ago. Now if I could just turn those things I have written a long time ago into something that will help me now.
God bless and keep me in your prayers and the graces of God.
James Garland
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