We struggle to get somewhere and when we end up there, it is not all that we hoped it would be. What is it about somewhere, we want to be, to only find out, it is not what we expected or planned to happen, but it does? Then, we have to work towards making the best of the situation.
There is no angel or magic wand to make it all better. No matter how much it hurts inside, we have to deal with it. We dream of someone coming to our rescue to no avail. We get down on our hands and knees and pray to God for an answer, which does not seem to come.
We have people around us who remind us of the mistake we made, and that it could be another lesson in life for us to learn. It is like I have been here before, but under a different situation. Getting mad or angry does not solve the problem either. There is no lifeline or one that can be found. Trying to keep the mind clear and only think of positive thoughts. Keeping the negative thoughts at bay.
And the one main thought that keeps going through my mind is, "Why am I here and what is my purpose"? Does anyone even care or feel the pain I am going through at this very moment? I hurt so deep inside. But there is no one that can lend a helping hand. Moments of despair and wondering if I will ever be the same again?
Praying day and night that the answer will come from afar. Doing what I have to, to survive in this place I find myself in, by no ones doing, but my own. Wondering all along, what I have done to end up here where I am at now? And for God not to reach down and give me the helping hand I so much desire and hope for Him to do.
God where are you?
James Garland
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